Growing up and Magic

Some of the greatest moments I remember are

Playing freeze tag in front of the church building -in the Ohio summer evening, the lights coming up in the dusk, bright and halogen, the sun still slightly up, and dodging people I only barely know, in the green green grass

Driving through Bartlesville Oklahoma with people who are just becoming my friends, with the heat and brightness of summer, and the spring air, which smells better in Bartlesville than in any other place on earth, and the wind blowing through my short hair, the air conditioner on, and the top down, and nineties music is playing in it's native environment, bright and fun and smart and young

In college, at the lake, wearing clever funny shirts, which usually parodied the world, wearing shorts, playing guitar, on the water

As we grow up, we outgrow our fascination with certain things - the mall is no longer an unknown place full of wonder, and shopping is not as thrilling of an activity, and fashion becomes a boring subject, not because we have degraded, but because we have absorbed those things into ourselves, and it is time for us to find new ones, or to create our own new things. But there are other things which simply become deeper, our fascination with music, perhaps, which remains as mysterious and elusive as it ever was, or the newness of finding things on the open road. Change happens. We have to change, we have to seek change, but the difficulty is in finding the division between seeking to change, and seeking to change the ways in which we change.

Jesus had a definite political view - he was an anarchist, but he doesn't talk that much about politics. The bible assumes anarchy, but doesn't dwell. Perhaps because focusing on the external negative forces isn't all that useful, but living a life of internal anarchy - of freedom, an abandon, and an openness to what is coming, and a minimalism about your possessions and your life, a fearless embrace of travel and relationship and food and drink and dancing and joy, of taking in the open sky and seeing the wonder of the world

I want to experience Toronto in leisure, not knowing what our plan is, just getting up and enjoying it as it is, unpredictable - I want Denver and mountains, and I want the desert and south Carolina and the openness of Houston

I want to wear jeans and shorts, and carry very little, and walk freely in the sun, unhindered, and unthinking

and I want to write with nothing, and just capture